I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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