dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
