Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
