So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
