it wasn't lemon gatorade
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
