she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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