apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize