respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
