i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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