plz talk dirty to me
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
