Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize