i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
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