after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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