4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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