I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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