I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
