Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
