I didn't shave. On purpose
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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