I wannas sexs uuuuu
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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