I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
This house was built for laser tag.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
