dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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