No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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