TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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