Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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