Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
