Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
