Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
