Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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