Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
