Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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