12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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