Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
