If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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