I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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