Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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