Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
