Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
