i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
