the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
this boner is exhausting
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
