i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
