i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
