6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
