i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
