so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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