I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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