either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
