big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
