Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
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