You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
