u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
