So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
