thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
