Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
