You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
