can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize