WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
