I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize