remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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