she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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