what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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