hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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