my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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